Two months living in a new country I knew I was bound to feel homesick. It’s such an odd feeling; nostalgia, with a hint of loss. It’s the feeling that holds so many people back from making changes in their lives, even for the better. The inner psychologist in me can’t help wondering what exactly the feeling of homesickness is, what it means and what its purpose is.
The best way I can describe homesickness from my experience is a missing and longing for something you don’t have anymore.
When you move to a new place, you kind of have an identity crisis; everything is new, you can’t cling to what previously shaped you- your friends, your routines, and places visited- they aren’t there anymore. You no longer have access to the familiarity of what once was and you’re stripped down to experience everything from a new sense of self. This can feel incredibly uncomfortable and bring up negative feelings.
But what if homesickness is only a sad feeling because we make it sad with the meaning we attach to it. Ultimately, what makes homesickness painful is the knowledge that we can’t have these things, once experienced, right now.
But what if we have the power to transform homesickness into something softer, even happy. What if the feeling is actually our brains way of reminding us what we have been lucky enough to experience. A reminder that life is full of happy moments and that if we’ve experienced them before it’s possible to experience more.
What if we make these memories and moments our anchor through change. Something we can find comfort and joy in, reminding us of who we are and what we’re capable of creating again.
What I find most intriguing is that our brain will create longing for things we didn’t even appreciate at the time. Tell me why I crave walking down Manchester’s busy Market Street on a weekend afternoon, something that used to drive me crazy. How can I miss something I didn’t even enjoy at the time?
Maybe it’s a reminder that we don’t always appreciate what we have in the moment, that gratitude comes after. Maybe it’s a reminder that moments in their present aren’t forever. That even the mundane, boring or even annoying moments become cherished over time, because they aren’t forever.
So maybe we can find comfort in the here and now. Knowing that things are changing, and unfamiliar and different. But in years to come, this is going to be the exact place and moment I will crave and long for, simply because I won’t have it anymore.
Aligning Thoughts 